The Birdy. The Rotary Club of Swindon Phoenix. Ne t eeks host is. A e Lassies a d Lad s t as a eet gude aght!! Y ke. Geof Beale.

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1 The Rotary Club of Swindon Phoenix Dist i t E gla d The eekl ullei aptl a ed P eside t Geof Beale The Birdy Issue u e Volu e u e Nu e of this Rota Yea e ludi g spe ial issues Ne t eeks host is P eside t Ele t Ni ole P i e Rota ia A d Roh e P eside t No i ee Nigel Causto A e Lassies a d Lad s t as a eet gude aght!! Y ke I ediate Past P eside t & Clu T easu e Da id Coe Se eta ; P.P. Joh Fla aga Dist i t Go e o P.P. To Ho PHF Edito ; P P Pete Golds o th. P.H.F. Sapphi e Su Edito ; PP Paul S oop Pa f e PHF Su Edito ; PP Pete Gru p Ne so PHF By to all members of Swindon Phoenix Rotary Club, and some members of Foothill Highlands Rotary Club USA, Tappahannock Rotary Club USA, also Rotary Club Members in Australia, Indore and Bhopal India and special supporters elsewhere The comments expressed in this newsletter, if not credited to someone else, are the thoughts & opinions of the Editor and therefore may not be the opinions of all the members of the Rotary Club of Swindon Phoenix.

2 You just gota lo e the gu ho as host this eek, ot o l for his er pu tual deli er of the report ut the a he started his e ail to e...here it is, as I a ted to share it ith ou all! Good o i g Golds, Please see ata hed host epo t. I k o! I K o! Ve pu tual, ou el o e e old ate! You a ou t o e othi g like lo i g ou o t u pet haha! Ha e a i e eeke d a d e jo ou e a! Tha k ou Elliot I e said it efore so I ill sa it agai YOU are Preside ial aterial!! Golds! Elliot Causto S i do Phoe i Rota Clu Host Repo t.. The S i do Phoe i Rota Clu Bu s Night. The Bu s ight is a ele aio of the life a d poet of the poet o e t Bu s, autho of a S oish poe s. The e e i g sta ted e dife e tl fo the Rota lu of S i do Phoe i, ith us all ha i g to go out i to the hotel lo a d ait fo Bo the ag pipe to pipe us i f o the old lo i to the a oo he e e ould e jo the est of the u s e e i g. P eside t Geof el o ed the lu i his te i le S oish a e t a d passed the e e i g o e to Bo the pipe. Bo asked ota ia Elliot Causto to sta d up a d sa the t adiio al Selki k G a e - So e hae eat a d a a eat, A d so e ad eat that a t it; But e hae eat, a d e a eat, A d sae the Lo d e tha kit The g a e e t ell, u fo tu atel Elliot sou ded like Willia Walla e add essi g his a, ead fo atle! Ate the g a e the sta te as se ed hi h as the t adiio al S oish Co k-a-leekie soup. O e e all slu ped do ou soup Bo the pipe asked fo a olu tee to ead out the I o tal Spee h, hi h o sists of the life a d histo of Ro e t Bu s. Phil Pet olu tee ed a d o ide tl ead the spee h out. Ne t up du i g the e e ful e e i g as the o e hi h e e e all aii g fo, the Haggis! Ho e e efo e the uite a fe ota ia s fou d out that dippi g the S oish sho t ead i to S oish hiske as a athe i e o - i aio, so uite a fe ota ia s e e full up a d ips the i e the Haggis a e out! Bo used his ag pipes to pipe the haggis i to the oo a d ith the help of the hef oth alked the haggis a ou d the oo displa i g the deli- ious ess of the Haggis! O e the Haggis had ee a ou d the oo the hef pla e it o the ta le he e Bo asked fo a othe olu tee to o e up a d ut the Haggis! A ie Pet as olu tee ed to do the t adiio al Haggis ut, ut efo e she ould ake the i isio Bo the pipe ga e a e d a ai poe a out the

3 Haggis Fai fa' ou ho est, so sie fa e, G eat hietai o the puddi '- a e! A oo the a' e tak ou pla e, Pai h, t ipe, o thai : Weel a e e o d of a g a e As la g's a. The g oa i g t e he the e e ill, You hu dies like a dista t hill, You pi ad help to e d a ill I i e o eed, While th o ou po es the de s disil Like a e ead. His k ife see usi La ou dight, A ut ou up i ead slight, T e hi g ou gushi g e t ails ight, Like o ie dit h; A d the, O hat a glo ious sight, Wa - eeki, i h! The, ho fo ho, the st et h a st i e: Deil tak the hi d ost, o the d i e, Till a' thei eel-s all'd k tes el e A e e t like d u s; The auld Guid a, aist like to i e, 'Betha kit' hu s. Is the e that o e his F e h agout, O olio that ad sta a so, O f i assee ad ak he spe Wi pe fe t s o e, Looks do i s ee i g, s o fu ie O si a di e? Poo de il! see hi o e his t ash, As fe kless as a ithe 'd ash, His spi dle sha k a guid hip-lash, His ie e a it: Th o lood lood o ield to dash, O ho u it! But a k the usi, haggis-fed, The t e li g ea th esou ds his t ead, Clap i his alie ie e a lade, He'll ake it hissle; A legs a a s, a heads ill s ed, Like taps o th issle. Ye Po ' s, ha ak a ki d ou a e, A d dish the out thei ill o fa e, Auld S otla d a ts ae ski ki g a e That jaups i luggies: But, if e ish he g atefu p a e, Gie he a Haggis! O e he o pleted his poe he ha ded A ie a t adiio al S oish k ife to o plete the task! at hed i a e the Hotel tea ho all looked a tad e ilde ed at it all The Haggis as deli ious a d Rota ia Elliot as e i p essed, as this as his i st i e t i g the S oish sa ou puddi g. O e e olfed do the Haggis e had et a othe ou se o sisi g of Chi ke, potatoes, a ots a d those deli ious, u de ated, s ueak s ueak g ee ea s hi h e all lo e! HUH? Editor!!!!!

4 Ate so e e full up ell s a e a o e t Bu s poe To a Mouse, hi h agai Bo the pipe asked fo olu tee s to sta d up a d ead the poe s i thei est S oish a e t! A d e Whii g, A e Peleggis u, Geof Beale a d Lee Fla aga all stood up a d olu tee ed ho e e e all thought that Lee Fla aga s a e t as e elsh! o e t Bu s poe To a Mouse Wee, sleekit, o i, i ' ous easie, O, hat a pa i 's i th easie! Thou eed a sta t a a sae hast Wi i ke i g atle! I ad e laith to i a ' hase thee, Wi' u de i g patle. I' t ul so a 's do i io Has oke Natu e's so ial u io, A ' jusiies that ill opi io Whi h akes thee sta tle At e, th poo, ea th o o pa io A ' fello o tal! I dou t a, h les, ut thou a thie e; What the? poo easie, thou au li e! A dai e i ke i a th a e 'S a s a' e uest; I'll get a lessi i' the la e, A ' e e iss't. Th ee- it housie, too, i ui! It's sill a's the i 's a e st e i! A ' aethi g, o, to ig a e a e, O' foggage g ee! A ' leak De e e 's i 's e sui, Baith s ell a ' kee! Thou sa the ields laid a e a ' aste, A ' ea i te o i fast, A ' ozie he e, e eath the last, Thou thought to d ell, Till ash! the uel oulte past Out th o' th ell. That ee it heap o' lea es a ' si le, Has ost thee o ie a ea i le! No thou's tu ed out, fo a' th t ou le, But house o hald, To thole the i te 's sleet d i le, A ' a eu h auld. But Mousie, thou a t o th la e, I p o i g fo esight a e ai : The est laid s he es o' i e a ' e Ga g at a-gle, A ' lea'e us ought ut g ief a ' pai, Fo p o is'd jo! Sill thou a e lest, o pa ed i' e! The p ese t o l tou heth thee: But o h! I a k a d ast e'e, O p ospe ts d ea! A ' fo a d, tho' I a a see, I guess a ' fea! O e the poe s e e ead out Bo asked Past P eside t Da id Coe to Toast the lassies, Da- id ga e a e hu ou s poe a d the Ma die Coe, Da id s ife stood up a d ga e a e fu espo se f o the lassies. Da id a d Ma die oth had o l a fe i utes to p epa e thei spee hes a d e all thought the did a g eat jo i

5 pa i ipai g i the e e i g. O e the spee hes e e o plete Bo the pipe pla ed us so gs o his ag pipes hi h e e all e i p essi e! Ate the i i o e t a e the a i e pa t of the e e i g! Rota ia Elliot Causto asked Bo efo e the eei g if e ould i lude so e da i g ithi Bu s ight, Bo a d his gla o ous assista t sho ed us ho to da e to the Ga Go do s, hi h e all fou d to e e e jo a le i deed! E e if the e as t e ough oo a d a, a toes e e stepped upo!

6 Co g atulaio s to Paul a d L Pa f e fo e e tl o ga isi g et a othe su essful Di e a d Da e fo the Ca e Cha it fo e l B eakth ough a d o a ed Ca e No ; he e a e the ota ia s a d f ie ds ho suppo ted the e e t too Ni ole & Ia P i e, Gi a & Geof Beale Je & Pete Ne so, Ni ola Golds o th & Ni k Ma ha t Sa ah & Ch is Si s, Ma die & Da id Coe Pegg & Pete Golds o th, A e & Co ad Pike You too, a put ou posh f o k o a d e jo a spa kli g e e i g suppo i g S i do You g Ca e s see elo & just ook ith PE Ni ole asap!

7 More Phoenix Phun! Is that he k ate?.. Whoops.. So o g ga e! Fi al s o e.. No Guess hi h tea o! Editor does 't k o either! Did e o e se o d? The t o tea s efo e the at h! Skitles Was pleasa tl su p ised he e a i ed at e South ook fo ou se o d skitles at h agai st south Cots- olds. The oo had ee o pletel efu ished a d looked fa ulous... Good Sta t. Ou tea a i ed all i ed e ept e els Ada a d Elliot ho had de ided to ea the sa e ta ta shi t f o the Ne t Sale!! See photo.. Ate the o ligato photos o the o de of Golds, the at h sta ted. Ate a shak i st ou d e st i ed ahead ate Nikki got a i o e go!!! The got a the e t ou d!!!! Ou e sta!! A d e, ou p e ious se et eapo, ho I thi k as gei g jealous as he de ided to get the lo est s o es ea l of the at h... I a su e this as just a lip a d he ill e a k o fo e t eek!! We led up u il ufet i e hi h as tho oughl e jo ed all... Fa ete tha a asket eal. Ou opposi g tea pla ed i g eat spi its a d e e e ied u il the su ged ahead o the th a d th ou d.. Mai l due to the poo pla of ou pla e s!! P o a l ate too u h ufet!! Elliot e t to pot ate L e efusi g his a iage p oposal!! See photo.. Ha ha!! What happe ed to ou M X P eside t.. s o e He o of the ga e as Nikki....Well do e!! We a e looki g fo a d to e t at h agai st Ci e este o the th. Be g eat if ou ould o e alo g a d suppo t the tea!!!! Tea o ga ise Gail

8 Tha k ou to fo this featu e

9 Jokes A pet ol staio o e i I ela d as t i g to i ease his sales, so he put up a sig that ead, 'F ee Se ith Fill-Up.' on the Birdy s wing Padd pulled i, illed his ta k a d asked fo his f ee se. The o e told hi to pi k a u e f o to. If he guessed o e tl, he ould get his f ee se. Padd guessed, a d the p op ieto said, 'You e e lose. The u e as. So. No se this i e.' A eek late, Padd, alo g ith his f ie d Mi k, pulled i fo a othe ill-up. Agai he asked fo his f ee se. The p op ieto agai ga e hi the sa e sto, a d asked hi to guess the o e t u e. Padd guessed. The p op ieto said, 'So, it as. You e e lose, ut o f ee se this i e.' As the e e d i i g a a, Mi k said to Padd, 'I thi k that ga e is igged a d he does 't eall gi e a a f ee se at all.' Padd eplied, 'No it's ge ui e e ough Mi k. M ife o t i e last eek.' A - ea old a e t to his do to fo his a ual he k-up. A fe da s late, the do to sa the a alki g do the st eet ith a go geous ou g lad o his a. A ouple of da s late, he the old a had a se o d appoi t e t to get the esults of the he k-up, the do to said, "You' e eall doi g g eat, a e 't ou? You see e ell!" The a eplied, "I' just doi g hat ou told e to do: 'Get a hot a a a d e hee ful', a d it o ks o de s". Ho iied, the do to said: "I did 't sa that! I said 'You' e got a hea t u u. Be a eful.'" Tha ks Thilo Kork Ba k o Ja ua th, a g oup of HELLS ANGELS, South Ca oli a ike s e e idi g east o he the sa a gi l a out to ju p of the Pee Dee i e B idge. So the stopped. Geo ge, thei leade, a ig u l a of, gets of his Ha le, alks th ough a g oup of ga ke s, past the State T oope ho as t i g to talk he do of the aili g, a d sa s, "He Ba... hat ha doi ' up the e o that aili '?" She sa s tea full, "I' goi g to o it sui ide!!" While he did 't a t to appea "se sii e," Geo ge also did 't a t to iss this " e-a-lege d" oppo tu it eithe so he asked... "Well, efo e ou ju p, Ho e -Ba e... h do 't ou gi e ol' Geo ge he e ou est last kiss?" So, ith o hesitaio at all, she lea ed a k o e the aili g a d did just that... a d it as a lo g, deep, li ge i g kiss follo ed i ediatel a othe e e ete o e. Ate the eathlessl i ished, Geo ge gets a ig thu s-up app o al f o his ike - uddies, the o looke s, a d e e the State T oope, a d the sa s, "Wo! That as the est kiss I ha e e e had! That's a eal tale t ou' e asi g the e, Suga Sho ts. You ould e fa ous if ou ode ith e. Wh a e ou o ii g sui ide?" "M pa e ts do 't like e d essi g up like a gi l." It's sill u lea hethe she ju ped o as pushed. Tha ks Da id Dukes gosh that s fu! Irish Compassion... Sho tl ate take-of o a out ou d e e i g Ae Li gus light f o Du li to Bosto, the lead light ate da t e ousl ade the Follo i g pai ful a ou e e t i he lo el I ish ogue: Ladies a d ge tle e, I' so e so, ut it appea s that the e has ee a te i le i -up ou ate i g se i e. I do 't k o ho this has happe ed, ut e ha e passe ge s o oa d, a d u fo tu- atel, e e ei ed o l di e eals. I t ul apologize fo this istake a d i o e ie e. Whe the ute i g of the passe ge s had died do, she o i ued, "A o e ho is ki d e ough to gi e up thei eal so that so eo e else a eat ill e ei e f ee, u li ited d i ks fo the du aio of ou hou light. He e t a ou e e t a e a out hou s late : "If a o e is hu g, e sill ha e di e s a aila le. Tha ks to Irish Lillia i Oz

10 - Mar h 6 Distri t Co fere e Saturday rd April St Georges Day K ow Your Blood Pressure Day Bru el Ce tre Su day 6th Ju e Our th Drago Boat Ra e 6 Coate Water The O je t of Rota is to e ou age a d foste the ideal of se i e as a asis of o th e te p ise a d, i pa i ula, to e ou age a d foste : The de elop e t of a uai ta e as a oppo tu it fo se i e; High ethi al sta da ds i usi ess a d p ofessio s, the e og iio of the o thi ess of all useful o upaio s, a d the dig if i g of ea h ota ia s o upaio as a oppo tu it to se e so iet ; The appli aio of the ideal of se i e i ea h ota ia s pe so al, usi ess, a d o u it life; The ad a e e t of i te aio al u de sta di g, good ill, a d pea e th ough a o ld fello ship of usi ess a d p ofessio al pe so s u ited i the ideal of se i e. It is ot usual to read the u ers aloud whe re ii g the o je t Find more information on Swindon Phoenix Rotary on your pc; Just control + click on these hyper links below swindonphoenixrotary.org.uk Previous bulletins Our Santa Run Dragon Boat Event thephoenixbulletin.weebly.com swindonsanta.org.uk Ffind us on Facebook On twitter That s all Folks!- but remember, we are a Rotary Club of the 21st Century