T H I S Y E A R

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2 T H I S Y E A R N E X T Y E A R Published by Dodo Pad Ltd. PO Box 33, St. Agnes Cornwall TR5 0WU Compilation & Original Illustration by Naomi McBride 2012 Illustrations Dodo Pad Ltd 2012 B M Peak 1995, 2012 Rose Verney 1965, 2012 Acad-Pad Desk Diary ISBN / AcadPAX loose-leaf Diary - ISBN All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form, or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, or stored in any retrieval system, without prior permission of the publisher. Reprographics by Peta Bull Design. Imprinted in China using paper sourced from sustainable forests.

4 HOW TO GET THE BEST FROM YOUR DODO ACAD-PAD DOODLING Special facilities have been provided in the design of the ACAD-PAD for this essential activity. The Dodo ACAD-PAD encourages you to doodle creatively and thereby preserve the covers of nearby library books, café tables, train/bus head-rests, college walls etc. Those at a loss for inspiration will find suggestive hints to quicken their imagination on every diary page. A blank, or nearly blank, space is also provided for this purpose on facing pages. FURTHER USES FOR THE ACAD-PAD Finished sheets can be torn out and are especially suitable for making paper boats, darts, book-markers or tapers for lighting a barbecue. If folded into eight, an ACAD-PAD page comes in handy for fixing up a rickety table or stuffing into a shaky sash-window. The most attractively doodled pages make ideal wallpaper for the barer halls of residence, double up as wrapping paper for any occasion and can also be put to good use as a more personal type of Christmas card. In the event of losing one s keys it is inadvisable to use one s ACAD-PAD to wedge open the front door, as this may leave both diary and household exposed to the possibility of theft. The Dodo team of social researchers calculates that for over-active and underinspired students alike, armed with the Dodo ACAD-PAD they are: 96% more likely to remember which subject they are reading, 67% more successful at remembering the times and days of their lectures (regardless of attendance) and at least 5% better at remembering that the rubbish day has changed and that goldfish have never liked vodka. INSTANT INVISIBLITY The ACAD-PAD can be held up to head height and is made to measure (one size fits all) for immediate concealment of the holder at any given moment, particularly useful in cafés, library, and/or middle of the street for the avoidance of any number of tricky situations. It is a perfect hand held disguise for those unwanted/ unexpected encounters.

5 The Dodo technique for self-concealment is much quicker than growing a beard - I should know, I ve tried both (Hairy Harry Bath University) ACADEMIC ATHLETICS The Dodo ACAD-PAD is equally capable of being employed for more athletic purposes. Sportsmen and women whose urge is to bat, swing or throw anything they touch can be reassured of the Dodo s flexibility in any number of these gaming roles. Particularly popular among more reckless students is the on-campus competitive Dodo skimming activity, which is more often, simply referred to as frisbee for fools. INSECTICIDE The ACAD-PAD also makes an ideal weapon for swatting flies. Held flat on the palm of the hand, it can be used as a missile against wasps and mosquitoes on the ceiling. What every lazy and disorganised student needs to do-do well at college. The Dodo ACAD-PAD is like a loyal companion. If I take it to the pub I can rely on it to help me find my way home again. (It also makes a perfectly good beer mat.) One student famously pointed out that I would be up a certain well-known creek without my Dodo ACAD-PAD to use as a paddle! HOW TO CHAIN YOUR DODO ACAD-PAD TO YOUR BICYCLE OR BAG Any reputable ironmonger will supply you with a length of thin chain. A DODO-PADLOCK can be obtained from us. Price $329.99, including postage. ACAD-PADLERS ARE ADVISED TO ORDER THEIR NEXT YEAR S ACAD-PAD WELL IN ADVANCE TO BE SURE OF SAFE DELIVERY Rose Verney 1965, 2012 Dodo Pad Ltd 2012 With very special thanks to Tamsin Barnett without whom this Acad-Pad would not have been plausible.

6 2012/13 FORWARDPLANNERFORWARDPLANNERFORWARDPLANNERFORWARDPLANNERFORWARDPLANNERF SEPTEMBER S 17 M ROSH HASHANAH 2Su FATHER S DAY (AUS) 18 T 3 M LABOR DAY (US & CAN) 19W 4 T 20 Th 5 W 21 F 6 Th 22s 7 F 23 Su 8 s 24 M 9 Su 25 T 10M 11 T 27 Th 12W 28 F 13Th 29 s 14F 30Su 15s 16Su NoVEMBER Th 17 s 2 F 18Su 3 S 19M 4 Su 20 T 5 M GUY FAWKES NIGHT 21 W 6 T 22Th THANKSGIVING (US) 7 W 23 F 8 Th 24 s 9 F 25 Su 10s 26 M 11 Su REMEMBRANCE SUNDAY (UK) REMEMBRANCE DAY (CAN) 27 T 12M VETERANS DAY (US, obs) 28W 13 T DIWALI 29 Th 14W 30F 15Th ISLAMIC NEW YEAR 16 F JANUARY T NEW YEAR S DAY 17 Th 2 W BANK HOLIDAY (SCOT) 18F 3 Th 19s 4 F 20 Su 26W YOM KIPPUR 5 S 21 M 6Su 22T 7 M 23 W 8 T 24 Th 9 W 25 F BURNS NIGHT MARTIN LUTHER KING DAY (US) 10Th 26 s 11 F 27 Su 12s 28 M AUSTRALIA DAY(OBS) 13 Su 29 T 14M 30W 15T 31 Th 16 W OCTOBER M 17 W 2 T 18 Th 3 W 19F 4 Th 20 s 5 F 21 Su 6 S 22M 7 Su 23 T 8 M COLUMBUS DAY (US) THANKSGIVING (CANADA) 24 W 9 T 25 Th 10W 26 F EID AL-ADHA 11 Th 27 s 12F 28 Su BST ENDS 13 s 29 M HOLIDAY (EIRE) 14Su 30T 15M 31 W HALLOWE EN 16 T DECEMBER s 17 M 2Su 18T 3 M 19W 4 T 20 Th 5 W 21 F 6 Th 22s 7 F 23 Su 8 s 24 M 9 Su HANUKKAH 25 T CHRISTMAS DAY 10M 26 W 11 T 27 Th 12W 28 F 13Th 29 s 14F 30Su 15s 31 M 16 Su FEBRUARY F 17 Su 2 s 18 M PRESIDENTS DAY (US) 3 Su 19T 4 M 20 W 5 T 21 Th 6 W WAITINGI DAY (NZ) 22F 7 Th 23 s 8 F 24 Su 9 s 25 M 10Su CHINESE NEW YEAR 26 T 11 M 27 W 12T SHROVE TUESDAY 28 Th 13W 14Th 15F 16 s BOXING DAY (UK, AUS, NZ) ST STEPHEN S DAY (EIRE)

7 MARCH F 17 Su 2 s 18M 3 Su 19 T 4 M 20 W 5 T 21 Th 6 W 22F 7 Th 23 s 8 F 24 Su 9 s 25M 10Su MOTHER S DAY (UK & EIRE) 26 T PASSOVER 11 M COMMONWEALTH DAY CANBERRA DAY 27 W 12T 28 Th 13 W 29 F GOOD FRIDAY 14Th 30s 15F 31 Su EASTER DAY BST BEGINS 16s MAY W 17 F 2 Th 18s 3 F 19Su 4 s 20 M VICTORIA DAY (CANADA) 5Su 21 T 6 MAY BANK HOLIDAY M (UK & EIRE) 22W 7 T 23 Th 8 W 24 F 9 Th 25 S 26 Su 10F 11 s 27 M 12Su MOTHER S DAY (US & AUS) 28 T 13M 29 W 14T 30Th 15 W 31 F 16 Th JULY M CANADA DAY 17 W 2 T 18Th 3 W 19F 4 Th INDEPENDENCE DAY (US) 20 s 5 F 21 Su 6 s 22M 7 Su 23 T 8 M 24 W 9 T RAMADAN BEGINS 25 Th 10W 26 F 11 Th 27 s 12F PUBLIC HOLIDAY (N. IRELAND) 28 Su 13s 29 M 14Su BASTILLE DAY 30T 15 M 31 W 16 T SPRING BANK HOLIDAY (UK) MEMORIAL DAY (US) 2012/13 FORWARDPLANNERFORWARDPLANNERFORWARDPLANNERFORWARDPLANNERFORWARDPLANNER APRIL M EASTER MONDAY 17 W 2 T 18Th 3 W 19F 4 Th 20 s 5 F 21 Su 6 S 22M 7 Su 23 T 8 M 24 W 9 T 25 Th ANZAC DAY (AUS & NZ) 10W 26 F 11 Th 27 s 12F 28 Su 13s 29 M 14Su 15 M 16T JUNE S 17 M 2 Su 18 T 3 M BANK HOLIDAY (EIRE) 19 W 4 T 20 Th 5 W 21 F 6 Th 22S 7 F 23 Su 8 s 24 M 9 Su 25T 10M 26 W 11 T 27 Th 12W 28 F 13Th 29 s 14F 30Su 15s 16 Su FATHER S DAY (UK,US & CAN) 30T AUGUST Th 17 s 2 F 18Su 3 s 19M 4 Su 20 T 5 SUMMER BANK HOLIDAY M (SCOTLAND & EIRE) 21 W 6 T 22Th 7 W 23 F 8 Th 24 s 9 F 25 Su 10s 11 Su 27 T 12M 28 W 13T 29 Th 14W 30 F 15Th 31 s 16 F 26M SUMMER BANK HOLIDAY (UK)

9 There was a young vicar from Salisbury whose manners were quite halisbury-scalisbury. He went around Hampshire Without any pampshire - 'Til his bishop compelled him to walisbury. Lord Dodo s hints for a fuller appreciation of this quaint rhyme can be found in the Appendix

11 I don t consider myself a pessimist. I think of a pessimist as someone who is waiting for it to rain. And I feel soaked to the skin. Leonard Cohen

13 Sir! I demand, I am a maid named Iris! is, of course, a palindrome

14 How do you identify a bald eagle?... All its feathers are combed over to one side of its head

15 Painters are so bitchy. Magritte told Miro that Kandinsky had feet of Klee. Dick Vosburgh

17 A NEW YEAR PRAYER Dear Lord Please make my bank account fat and my body slim - and don t mix them up like you did last year

19 That money talks, Iʼll not deny. I heard it once, it said ʻGoodbye!ʼ. Richard Armour

21 Grafitti spotted in the Philosophy Department of Cambridge University

22 * *

23 One disadvantage of being a hog is that at any moment some blundering fool may try to make a silk purse out of your wife s ear. J B Morton By the Way 1931

25 In view of the troubled times we live in, the Cats Protection League now offer a full Close Purrsonal Bodyguard Service.

27 M y a t B e L N s TO D A D A

29 Lord Dodo acknowledges Beecham s Powders claim to the first advertising slogan, but points out that Dodocorp has, from its foundation, employed some very sophisticated sales and marketing techniques. Here s a treasure he unearthed from the archive in a dodusty corner of the library at Dodo Towers, which gives Mr Beecham a run for his money.

31 August september

32 FORWARD PLANNER 2013/14 SEP TEMBER Su FATHER S DAY (AUS) 17 T 2 M LABOR DAY (US & CAN) 18W 3 T 19Th 4 W 20 F 5 Th ROSH HASHANAH 21 s 6 F 22Su 7 s 23 M 8 Su 24 T 9 M 25 W 10T 26 Th 11 W 27 F 12Th 28 s 13F 29 Su 14s YOM KIPPUR 30M 15Su 16 M NOVEMBER F 17 Su 2 s 18M 3 Su DIWALI 19T 4 M ISLAMIC NEW YEAR 20 W 5 T GUY FAWKES NIGHT 21 Th 6 W 22F 7 Th 23 s 8 F 24 Su 9 s 25M 10Su REMEMBRANCE SUNDAY (UK) 26 T 11 VETERANS DAY (US) M REMEMBRANCE DAY (CAN) 27 W 12T 28 Th 13W 29 F 14Th 30s 15F 16 s JANUARY W NEW YEAR S DAY 17 F 2 Th BANK HOLIDAY (SCOT) 18s 3 F 19Su 4 s 20 M 5Su 21 T 6 M 22W 7 T 23 Th 8 W 24 F 9 Th 25 S BURNS NIGHT 26 Su THANKSGIVING (US) HANUKKAH MARTIN LUTHER KING DAY (US) 10F 11 s 27 M AUSTRALIA DAY 12Su 28 T 13M 29 W 14T 30Th 15 W 31 F CHINESE NEW YEAR 16 Th OCTOBER T 17 Th 2 W 18 F 3 Th 19s 4 F 20 Su 5 s 21 M 6Su 22T 7 M 23 W 8 T 24 Th 9 W 25 F 10Th 26s 11 F 27 Su BST ENDS 12s 28 M HOLIDAY (EIRE) 13 Su 29 T COLUMBUS DAY (US) 14M THANKSGIVING (CANADA) 30 W 15T EID AL-ADHA 31 Th HALLOWE EN 16W DECEMBER Su 17 T 2 M 18W 3 T 19Th 4 W 20 F 5 Th 21 s 6 F 22Su 7 s 23 M 8 Su 24 T 9 M 25 W CHRISTMAS DAY 10T 26 Th 11 W 27 F 12Th 28 s 13 F 29 Su 14s 30 M 15Su 31 T 16 M FEBRUARY S 17 M PRESIDENTS DAY (US) 2 Su 18 T 3 M 19W 4 T 20 Th 5 W 21 F 6 Th WAITANGI DAY (NZ) 22S 7 F 23 Su 8 s 24 M 9 Su 25T 10M 26 W 11 T 27 Th 12W 28 F 13Th 14F 15s 16 Su BOXING DAY (UK, AUS, NZ) ST STEPHEN S DAY (EIRE)

33 MARCH s 17 M 2Su 18T 3 M 19W 4 T SHROVE TUESDAY 20 Th 5 W 21 F 6 Th 22s 7 F 23 Su 8 s 24 M 9 Su 25 T COMMONWEALTH DAY 10M CANBERRA DAY (AUS) 26 W 11 T 27 Th 12W 28 F 13Th 29 s 14F 30Su 15s 31 M 16 Su MAY Th 17 s 2 F 18Su 3 s 19M VICTORIA DAY (CANADA) 4 Su 20 T 5 M FORWARD PLANNER 2013/14 MAY BANK HOLIDAY (UK & EIRE) 21 W 6 T 22Th 7 W 23 F 8 Th 24 s 9 F 25 Su 10s 26 M 11 Su MOTHER S DAY (US & AUS) 27 T 12M 28 W 13T 29 Th 14W 30F 15Th 31 s 16F JULY T CANADA DAY 17 Th 2 W 18F 3 Th 19 s 4 F INDEPENDENCE DAY (US) 20 Su 5 s 21 M 6 Su 22T 7 M 23 W 8 T 24 Th 9 W 25 F 10Th 26 s 11 F 27 Su 12s 28 M 13 Su 29 T 14M PUBLIC HOLIDAY (N. IRELAND) BASTILLE DAY 30W 15T 31 Th 16 W MOTHER S DAY (UK & EIRE) BST BEGINS SPRING BANK HOLIDAY (UK) MEMORIAL DAY (US) APRIL T 17 Th 2 W 18F GOOD FRIDAY 3 Th 19s 4 F 20 Su EASTER DAY 5 s 21 M EASTER MONDAY 6Su 22T 7 M 23 W 8 T 24 Th 9 W 25 F ANZAC DAY (AUS & NZ) 10Th 26 s 11 F 27 Su 12s 28 M 13 Su 29 T 14M 30 W 15T PASSOVER 16W JUNE Su 17 T 2 M BANK HOLIDAY (EIRE) 18 W 3 T 19Th 4 W 20 F 5 Th 21 s 6 F 22Su 7 s 23 M 8 Su 24 T 9 M 25W 10T 26 Th 11 W 27 F 12Th 28 s RAMADAN BEGINS 13F 29 Su 14s 30M 15Su FATHER S DAY (UK,US & CAN) 16 M AUGUST F 17 Su 2 s 18M 3 Su 19T 4 M SUMMER BANK HOLIDAY (SCOTLAND & EIRE) 20 W 5 T 21 Th 6 W 22F 7 Th 23 s 8 F 24 Su 9 s 25 M SUMMER BANK HOLIDAY (UK) 10Su 26 T 11 M 27 W 12T 28 Th 13W 29 F 14Th 30s 15F 31 Su 16 s

T H I S / 1 5 Y E A R

T H I S / 1 5 Y E A R specimen page T H I S 2 0 1 4 / 1 5 Y E A R N E X T 2 0 1 5 / 1 6 Y E A R Published by Dodo Pad Ltd. PO Box 33, St. Agnes Cornwall TR5 0WU Compilation & Original Illustration by Naomi McBride 2014 Illustrations