T H E D A Y I R E A L I Z E D I W A S N O T ( Y E T ) A N A G I L E C O A C H

Transcription

1 T H E D A Y I R E A L I Z E D I W A S N O T ( Y E T ) A N A G I L E C O A C H T H E J O U R N E Y A N D T H O U G H T S O F A N A G I L E P R A C T I T I O N E R W H O D I S C O V E R E D H I S PA S S I O N F O R C O A C H I N G Sylvain Mahe

2 WHO AM I? Entreprise Agile Coach Publishing, Telcos, Industrial Property, Banking... Startup companies and MNCs Leads the largest team of Agile coaches in Singapore at Palo IT, a boutique Innovation consultancy Life Transformation Coach (ACC - International Coaching Federation) Explorer, seeker, salsa dancer and cheese lover LinkedIn:

3 COACH

4 CIRCA 2010

5 CIRCA 2010

6 AND THEN I MET A REAL COACH

7 POSTURES You could do X What else could you try? X, Y, Z Consultant Coach I ve done X X is Try Y, because Mentor Trainer

8 3 THINGS THAT MAY HELP BRING YOUR COACHING TO THE NEXT LEVEL ( T H A T W O R K E D F O R M E ) 1. Know yourself 2. Go beyond the words 3. Hold the frame

9 LET S HAVE A CHAT! Form triads: observer, story teller, listener Story teller: recall a good memory and share it with the listener Listener: engage in this conversation as you would normally do Observer: well observe 3 min

10 DEBRIEF What kind of questions did you ask? Open / closed Leading Did you make good use of the silence? Were you fully present? Did you catch yourself wanting to speak? Did you interrupt the story teller? Did you hijack the conversation? Internal state Listening? Judging? What was your intention? (telling a diving trip story) - I was maybe 10m deep and could barely see. - Oh, that was scary, wasn t it? - I was maybe 10m deep and could barely see. - Oh yes, that reminds me of my diving trip last year

11 MY JOURNEY My realizations I talk too much silence is key I want to convince My presence is on and off I m the smartest and the world needs to know what I have to say From now on I will know myself better I will try to be a role model PRESENCE > NON JUDGMENT > SILENCE

12 TIP 1: SELF AWARENESS Self-awareness is one of the rarest of human commodities. I don't mean self-consciousness where you're limiting and evaluating yourself. I mean being aware of your own patterns.

13 COMMUNICATION ICEBERG Cosmetic Chit chat Facts Emotions / Feelings Values, beliefs, frameworks Conversational Active Deep Self centered I ( feel the same, want to ask, want to know ) Mirroring, paraphrasing Physical posture Body language, tone of voice Keywords Unsaid

14 GO DEEPER Rotate roles in the triad Story teller: think of a topic that you need help with. Listener: Set your intention = be like water, explore Open questions Presence Be curious. Really. As much as you can. Make it artificial. Fake it. Play it. Focus on the person. Let your curiosity guide you asking questions. Mirror Observer: well observe 3 min 2 min debrief

15 MY JOURNEY My realizations I m Intellectual, Emotional I m at ease with emotions I m not (always) truly curious I (sometimes) take things personally Physical From now on I ll go out of my comfort zone and experiment Intellectual Emotional FEEL > LISTEN > MIRROR > EMPATHIZE

16 TIP 2: GO BEYOND THE WORDS & FACTS If you change the belief first, changing the action is easier.

17 HOLD THE FRAME C OAC H I N G M O D E L S Options GROW Diverge / converge Many others Reality Goal Barriers Source: Executive Coach International

18 C O A C H I N G C A N V A S By Martin Alaimo

19 PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER ( H O M E W O R K ) Coaching dojo: initiating significant conversations 6 ppl Try 1 person is the Seeker 4 are coaches 1 is an observer Have the model in mind. Connect questions with model. Ask open questions Be curious: Rephrase, Mirror, Explore Don t provide solutions Use silence Feedback: True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, Kind (THINK)

20 MY JOURNEY My realizations I get lost in people s stories I m good at opening perspectives From now on I ll bring more structure to the conversations I ll improve my questioning: powerful questions diverge converge EXPLORE > ASK > STEER

21 TIP 3: HOLD THE FRAME Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves.

22 AGILE COACH, A STRANGE BEAST Consultant Facilitator Coach Mentor Trainer Expert Change Leader Source: Agile coaching institute

23 COACHING? I have a problem What are your options? I pay you to give me answers, not questions

24 THE RIGHT POSTURE AT THE RIGHT TIME C O A C H I N G O R G A N I Z AT I O N S Is the client willing to be coached? Is coaching what the client need? What the client needs and wants are 2 different things Does the client know what coaching is? What s your preferred posture? Is it the right time for coaching? Source: Peter Green Agile For All And you, in which organization do you want to work?

25 ASK > APPRECIATE Marshall Goldsmith What Got you here won t get you there Feedforward Think of something you would like to change in your life Find someone A: Say your name A: Tell your issue ( Here is something I would like to improve in my life ) B: Offer 2 suggestions A: Say Thank you No explanations, no comments Rotate Shake hands Do the above with as many people as possible in the next 5 minutes

26 TAKEAWAYS Mantras Presence > Non judgment > Silence Feel > Listen > Mirror > Empathize Explore > Ask > Steer Go further ICAgile, Agile Coaching Institute Coaching course Communication patterns: Non Violent Communication, Transactional Analysis, Toltec Agreements, Core Protocols Personalities: Process Communication, MBTI, 16PF, Enneagram

27 THANK YOU Be the change that you wish to see in the world.

28 FURTHER READING

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