Crutch words used when writers don t understand what to say We understand Leverage our experience Thank you for the opportunity We look forward to state-of-the-art the right choice Never use the word understand in a proposal, other than in a section heading. To say we understand your requirements obfuscates any understanding and is, by definition, an unsubstantiated claim. On the other hand, if you say something insightful about how you will fulfill the requirements, the reader will see that the bidder understands the requirements. Understanding should be demonstrated, not claimed. Leverage is a word that some writers use when they know there is an advantage to be gained, but they don t know how to do it. Explain how rather than infer. Do not use leverage in proposals unless you are talking about a mechanical lever and fulcrum. Means, We are desperate for your business and don t really belong in the market. Just provide a call to action. If the RFP allows it, simply state when you will contact them to schedule an oral or finalist presentation. Make sure to follow the timeline addressed in the RFP. Boasting words these exaggerate or overstate facts, causing loss of credibility uniquely qualified, unique, very unique best of breed/class This is overused and is probably not credible. Prove it. Prove it. Prove it. L o h f e l d C o n s u l t i n g G r o u p, I n c. 1
premier, world-class, worldrenowned industry best practices, industry standard leading company, leading edge, leading provider, industry leader, pioneers, cutting edge, etc. Can t be proven. Using it is wasting the evaluators attention. Overused, unless recognized as such by an independent 3rd party. Overused and not believable. Don t damage your credibility by using it. Vague, useless words these provide little value to the reader we are committed we are quality focused we value our mission is to dedicated to top-quality full service comprehensive fastest growing trustworthy customer first maximize Customers don t want your commitment, they want results. This is another way of stating your intentions. Instead of focusing on quality, deliver it. Instead of valuing it, deliver it. This is just another way of stating your intention. Your dedication is not relevant to whether you have delivered or not. Is there any other kind? What exactly does that mean and is it credible? As opposed to? Your ability to grow rapidly may not be a selling point to your customer. I don t know about you, but when I hear that, I tend to run the other way. This is not believable. Everyone knows there are limits to what you will do for your customers. Don t strain your credibility. L o h f e l d C o n s u l t i n g G r o u p, I n c. 2
minimize optimize holistic synergistic robust Weak words these weaken the bidder s argument and cause doubt in the minds of evaluators Don t use we believe, think, or feel we will strive, try, or attempt we would be honored we are pleased to submit we are committed our highest priority we can provide we are involved in our mission is to Use Who cares? The customer doesn t care what you think. Take whatever you were about to say, turn it into a positive action, and state the benefits to the customer. Customers don t want you to try, they want you to deliver. This is just another way of saying how you feel and talking about yourself instead of making it about the customer. Of course you are! Does that phrase do anything other than waste the evaluators time and attention? Customers don t want your commitment, they want results. This is like saying it s your greatest intention. Either you provide it, or you don t. Too vague. State what you are doing. This is just another way of stating your intention. L o h f e l d C o n s u l t i n g G r o u p, I n c. 3
we desire your business we intend to we are devoted to we hope Of course you do! But, your proposal should not be about your needs, it should be about the customer s needs. Either you do it, or you don t. Who cares what your intentions are. This is just another way of saying you intend to. That s like saying you intend to, but you re not sure you ll be able to. Phrases with hidden verbs replace with action verbs Don t use Use arrived at the conclusion came to an agreement concluded agreed gave a demonstration gave an explanation has a requirement for has a need for held a meeting made a payment performed an analysis of 6-month period a number of able to accordingly acquainted with acted as actual experience advance planning demonstrated explained requires needs met paid analyzed Redundant Words simplify to write concisely Don t use 6 months several can so know was experience planning Use L o h f e l d C o n s u l t i n g G r o u p, I n c. 4
advance reservations advance warning along the lines of any and all as to basic fundamentals capable of close proximity combined experience consensus of opinion consequently deteriorate in quality discontinue each and every end result estimated roughly at exact same filled to capacity first and foremost for backup purposes for the purpose of functioned as furthermore give an affirmative answer to good advantage if and when in a teaching situation in accordance with reservations warning like, similar to all, any, every (or leave out) about basic or fundamentals can proximity This is a faux metric. Use average number of years experience. consensus so deteriorate stop each result estimated at same filled first, foremost for backup for, to was then say yes to, agree to advantage if in teaching by L o h f e l d C o n s u l t i n g G r o u p, I n c. 5
in addition also in an effort to to in as much as since, because in favor of for, to in order to to in the case of if in the event that if in the nature of like in the neighborhood of about in this day and age today issue a reminder remind join together join in order to [verb] to [verb] new innovation innovation on a [daily, weekly, monthly] basis daily, weekly, monthly on the basis of by on the grounds that because, since past experience experience past history history plan ahead plan prior to before reason is because reason is regular routine routine responsible for managing managed, manages suddenly exploded exploded throngs of people throngs twelve noon noon utilize use with a view to to L o h f e l d C o n s u l t i n g G r o u p, I n c. 6
with reference to with regard to with the result that actually all always best certainly comparatively definitely exactly finest heaviest I am absolutely certain I guess/know/think about (or leave out) about (or leave out) so that Unnecessary qualifiers avoid these or if used, substantiate your assertions now and again obviously occasionally of course quite rather relatively respectively sharpest some sometimes somewhat it goes without saying kind of lowest/highest cost/risk/confidence maybe more or less most needless to say never none sort of specific thoroughly totally usually utterly very wholly Worst L o h f e l d C o n s u l t i n g G r o u p, I n c. 7
ascertain encompass endeavor enumerate fabricate fluctuate illustrate Needlessly long words replaced with short, simple words indispensable initiate irregardless methodology modification obfuscate orientate preventative recapitulate reproduction subsequent substantial termination terminology utilization Long word learn include try list make vary show vital start Replacement This is not a real word use regardless methods change hide, confuse (better yet use a positive statement using clarify) This is not a real word use orient preventive review copy after large end terms use Slang words use in everyday speaking, but not in proposals hit the ground running well-seasoned managers L o h f e l d C o n s u l t i n g G r o u p, I n c. 8
assure guarantee Legal words if used, make sure you intend to comply with the legal definition ensure insure L o h f e l d C o n s u l t i n g G r o u p, I n c. 9