Varying Sentence Length

WR.3.C NARRATIVE SUPPLEMENTAL SKILLS INSTRUCTION Varying Sentence Length Lessns WR.3.A F ffer direct instructin n discrete skills and shuld be implemented between Lessns 10 and 11. Students may benefit frm sme r all f the instructin in these lessns; nly thse lessns r activities that address student needs shuld be implemented. Intrductin This lessn is cmpsed f tw distinct but related activities that center n skills fr effectively varying sentence length t imprve narrative writing. Each activity may last an entire class perid. Writing Instructin Optins: Cmbining Sentences Using Semiclns and Clns Splitting Sentences In this lessn, the teacher prvides direct instructin t students n cmbining sentences using semiclns and clns. Students als practice splitting sentences t imprve their clarity f their writing. Students fcus n revising their wn narratives fr effectively cmbining sentences using semiclns and clns r fr splitting sentences befre transitining t a peer discussin f revisins. Student learning is assessed via the cmpletin f the WR.3 Revisin Exit Slip: Varying Sentence Length, n which each student recrds ne example f a successful revisin. Fr hmewrk, students chse three different passages frm their narratives and revise each passage, fcusing n effectively cmbining sentences using semiclns and clns r splitting sentences as necessary t strengthen their writing. Students als write a few sentences explaining whether r nt they will keep the revisins they drafted and the impact this decisin has n their narratives. Standards Assessed Standard(s) W.9-10.5 Develp and strengthen writing as needed by planning, revising, editing, rewriting, r trying a new apprach, fcusing n addressing what is mst significant fr a specific purpse and audience. 1

L.9-10.1 L.9-10.2.a, b Demnstrate cmmand f the cnventins f standard English grammar and usage when writing r speaking. Demnstrate cmmand f the cnventins f standard English capitalizatin, punctuatin, and spelling when writing. a. Use a semicln (and perhaps a cnjunctive adverb) t link tw r mre clsely related independent clauses. b. Use a cln t intrduce a list r qutatin. Addressed Standard(s) W.9-10.6 Use technlgy, including the Internet, t prduce, publish, and update individual r shared writing prducts, taking advantage f technlgy s capacity t link t ther infrmatin and t display infrmatin flexibly and dynamically. SL.9-10.1 Initiate and participate effectively in a range f cllabrative discussins (ne-n-ne, in grups, and teacher-led) with diverse partners n grades 9 10 tpics, texts, and issues, building n thers ideas and expressing their wn clearly and persuasively. Assessment Assessment(s) Student learning is assessed via cmpletin f the WR.3 Revisin Exit Slip: Varying Sentence Length. Students recrd the riginal passage frm their narratives as well as the revised passage. Students then explain why the revisin is effective. Cnsider assessing these revisins using the Narrative Writing Checklist. High Perfrmance Respnse(s) A High Perfrmance Respnse shuld: Recrd the riginal passage (e.g., Nw I was ready t reprt. The Eagle has landed. ). Revise the riginal passage, fcusing n cmbining sentences using semiclns and/r clns r splitting sentences (e.g., Nw I was ready t reprt: The Eagle has landed. ). Explain why the revisin is effective (e.g., I used a cln t cnnect these tw sentences, because the dialgue clarifies what the narratr means in the first clause.). See the Mdel WR.3 Revisin Exit Slip: Varying Sentence Length fr mre examples. 2

Lessn Agenda/Overview Student-Facing Agenda Standards: % f Lessn Standards: W.9-10.5, L.9-10.1, L.9-10.2.a, b, W.9-10.6, SL.9-10.1 Learning Sequence: 1. Intrductin f Lessn Agenda 2. Hmewrk Accuntability 3. Writing Instructin Optins: Cmbining Sentences Using Semiclns and Clns Splitting Sentences 4. Narrative Writing Checklist 5. Individual Revisin 6. Revisin Discussin 7. WR.3 Revisin Exit Slip: Varying Sentence Length 8. Clsing 1. 5% 2. 0% 3. 30% 4. 5% 5. 30% 6. 20% 7. 5% 8. 5% Materials Student cpies f the up-t-date Narrative Writing Checklist (refer t WR.3 Lessn B Mdel Narrative Writing Checklist) Cpies f the WR.3 Revisin Exit Slip: fr each student (refer t WR.3 Lessn A) students will need additinal blank cpies Cpies f the Semicln and Cln Handut fr each student Learning Sequence Hw t Use the Learning Sequence Symbl Type f Text & Interpretatin f the Symbl 10% Percentage indicates the percentage f lessn time each activity shuld take. n symbl Plain text indicates teacher actin. Bld text indicates questins fr the teacher t ask students. Italicized text indicates a vcabulary wrd. Indicates student actin(s). 3

Indicates pssible student respnse(s) t teacher questins. Indicates instructinal ntes fr the teacher. Activity 1: Intrductin f Lessn Agenda 5% Begin by reviewing the agenda. In this lessn, students learn hw t cmbine sentences using semiclns and clns r hw t split sentences t strengthen their writing. Students revise their wn drafts befre participating in a peer discussin f their individual revisins. Students lk at the agenda. Activity 2: Hmewrk Accuntability 0% Students will be held accuntable fr hmewrk during Activity 6: Revisin Discussin. Activity 3: Writing Instructin Optins 30% Based n student need, select frm the tw ptins belw: Cmbining Sentences Using Semiclns and Clns (See Appendix 1) Splitting Sentences (See Appendix 2) Activity 4: Narrative Writing Checklist 5% The fllwing activity addresses the expectatins f SL.9-10.1. Instruct students t take ut their cpies f the Narrative Writing Checklist. Cnsider psting r prjecting the Narrative Writing Checklist. Instruct students t Think, Pair, Share abut the fllwing questins: Based n this lessn s writing instructin, what items shuld the class add t the Narrative Writing Checklist? In which categries d these items belng and why? Student respnses will vary but shuld include pints that address the fllwing: Crrectly incrprate semiclns and clns t make my writing clearer? This item belngs in the Cntrl f Cnventins categry, because it is abut prper use f punctuatin. 4

Include sentences f varied length that cntribute t the flw and effectiveness f my narrative? This item belngs in the Cherence, Organizatin, and Style categry, because varying sentence length affects bth the cherence and style f narratives. Lead a brief whle-class discussin f student respnses. Guide students t a cnsensus n what items the class will add t the Narrative Writing Checklist and in which categry each item belngs. Instruct students t add the new items in the apprpriate categries t their cpies f the Narrative Writing Checklist. Students add new items in the apprpriate categries t their cpies f the Narrative Writing Checklist. Cnsider adding the new items in the apprpriate categries t the displayed cpy f the Narrative Writing Checklist. Activity 5: Individual Revisin 30% Instruct students t independently revise their drafts fcusing n whichever f the fllwing writing skills they learned in this lessn: Cmbining Sentences Using Semiclns and Clns Splitting Sentences Fr example, if students cmpleted the writing instructin activity n Cmbining Sentences Using Semiclns and Clns, then their revisins will fcus n using semiclns and clns t cmbine sentences rather than n splitting sentences. Explain t students that they shuld revise at least three passages fr effectively cmbining sentences using semiclns and clns r fr splitting sentences. Remind students t refer t the Narrative Writing Checklist as they revise their drafts. Transitin t individual revisin. Students independently revise their drafts fr effectively cmbining sentences using semiclns and clns r fr splitting sentences. Fr sample revisins, see the Mdel WR.3 Revisin Exit Slip: Varying Sentence Length. Activity 6: Revisin Discussin 20% The fllwing activity addresses the expectatins f SL.9-10.1. 5

Instruct students t frm pairs r small grups t share at least ne f the passages they revised during the previus activity and ne passage they revised during the previus lessn s hmewrk assignment. Explain t students that in additin t receiving feedback n their revisins, this discussin is als an pprtunity t cnsider hw they can use similar revisins r try similar techniques as their peers in their wn papers. In this discussin, students prvide brief cnstructive criticism t their peers. Remind students that cnstructive criticism helps them share advice with their peers in a psitive and academic manner. Refer t Lessn 7 fr a discussin f cnstructive criticism. Instruct students t fllw these steps t cmplete the revisin discussin: 1. Shw yur peers the riginal passage and the revised passage. 2. Explain t yur peers hw the revisin imprves yur draft. 3. Ask yur peers t prvide brief cnstructive criticism n yur revisins. Students share with peers at least tw effective revisins they made t their drafts. In lessns that include the Revisin Discussin, cnsider maintaining the same peer pairs r small grups fr several lessns, s that students can benefit frm a reviewer wh is familiar with their drafts. Activity 7: WR.3 Revisin Exit Slip: Varying Sentence Length 5% Explain that fr this lessn s assessment, students recrd and explain ne example f a successful revisin. Distribute blank cpies f the WR.3 Revisin Exit Slip: t each student. Instruct students t fill in the title Varying Sentence Length n their exit slips. Instruct students t cmplete the exit slip independently. Infrm students that their revisins will be assessed with the Narrative Writing Checklist. See the High Perfrmance Respnse and Mdel WR.3 Revisin Exit Slip: Varying Sentence Length fr sample student respnses. Activity 8: Clsing 5% Display and distribute the hmewrk assignment. Fr hmewrk, instruct students t chse three different passages frm their drafts. Fr each passage, students revise their drafts fcusing n whichever f the fllwing writing skills they learned in this lessn: Cmbining Sentences Using Semiclns and Clns Splitting Sentences 6

Instruct students t respnd briefly in writing t the fllwing questins fr each revisin: Will yu keep the revisin yu drafted? Why r why nt? Explain the impact f yur decisin n yur narrative. If an nline writing cmmunity has been established fr the class, instruct students t pst their revised drafts fr sharing with peers and/r assessment. (Students use f the nline writing cmmunity addresses the expectatins f W.9-10.6.) Students fllw alng. Hmewrk Chse three different passages frm yur draft. Fr each passage, revise yur draft fcusing n whichever f the fllwing writing skills yu learned in this lessn: Cmbining Sentences Using Semiclns and Clns Splitting Sentences Respnd briefly in writing t the fllwing questins fr each revisin: Will yu keep the revisin yu drafted? Why r why nt? Explain the impact f yur decisin n yur narrative. 7

Mdel Narrative Writing Checklist Name: Class: Date: Directins: Use this template t recrd the checklist items that cnvey the cmpnents f an effective narrative established as a class. Cherence, Organizatin, and Style Des my respnse Drafting Finalizatin Develp real r imagined experiences r events? Establish a pint f view? Include settings, characters, and plts that develp the experiences r events? Use narrative techniques such as dialgue, pacing, descriptin, reflectin, r multiple plt lines t develp the narrative? Use the passage f time t structure the narrative? Have an intrductin that engages and rients the reader by setting ut a prblem, situatin, r bservatin? Have an intrductin that establishes a narratr and/r characters? Have an intrductin that builds a smth prgressin f experiences r events? Develp distinct character vices? Prvide a cnclusin that fllws frm and reflects n the experiences and bservatins within the narrative? Use different structural techniques t sequence events s that they build n ne anther t create a cherent whle? Use precise wrds and phrases, telling details, and sensry language t develp experiences, events, settings, and characters? Include varied syntax t cntribute t a chesive and engaging narrative? Include transitinal wrds and phrases that clearly shw the relatinship amng characters, experiences, and events? 8

Include sentences f varied length that cntribute t the flw and effectiveness f my narrative?* Cntrl f Cnventins Des my respnse Drafting Finalizatin Crrectly incrprate semiclns and clns t make my writing clearer?* *Asterisks indicate new items added in this lessn. 9

Mdel WR.3 Revisin Exit Slip: Varying Sentence Length Name: Class: Date: Directins: In the first clumn, recrd the riginal passage frm yur narrative draft. In the secnd clumn, recrd the revised passage. In the third clumn, explain why the revisin is effective. Original Passage Revised Passage Explanatin We were n the mn. There wasn t much time t celebrate. We were n the mn; there wasn t much time t celebrate. I added a semicln after mn, s nw the sentence has varied punctuatin and it is still grammatically crrect. Nw I was ready t reprt. The Eagle has landed. She ran my card thrugh her machine and held it fr a mment, lking at it in her hand, which mved as if she were ging t return it t me. Instead she tk anther lk, squinting hard, and she peered at the card and back at me, as if she were trying t match a face t the name. Nw I was ready t reprt: The Eagle has landed. She ran my card thrugh her machine and held it fr a mment, lking at it in her hand. Her hand mved as if she were ging t return it t me. But instead she tk anther lk, squinting hard. She peered at the card and back at me, as if she were trying t match a face t the name. I used a cln t cnnect these tw sentences, because the dialgue clarifies what the narratr means in the first clause. I split the sentences in a way that helps t cnvey the recllectin as actins that are part f a sequence. This revisin clarifies which details relate t each ther and it als creates a sequence f events. 10

Appendix 1: Cmbining Sentences Using Semiclns and Clns Explain t students that they can strengthen the clarity with which they develp the experiences and events in their narratives by using semiclns and clns prperly and effectively. Varying sentence length by cmbining sentences with semiclns r clns cntributes t an engaging, chesive narrative. Differentiatin Cnsideratin: If necessary, explain that chesin in writing refers t hw well the paragraphs and sentences link the claims and evidence f a text tgether int a cherent whle. Students write the definitin f chesin in the apprpriate sectin f their vcabulary jurnals. Explain t students that they must understand what an independent clause is in rder t use semiclns and clns prperly. Students may be familiar with the cmpnents f an independent clause. Cnsider asking students t vlunteer an explanatin f what an independent clause is and prvide an example befre prviding the definitin f an independent clause t the class. Prvide students with the fllwing definitin: independent clause means a clause that can stand alne as a sentence, cntaining a subject and a predicate with a finite verb. An independent clause cmmunicates a cmplete thught. Students write the definitin f independent clause in the apprpriate sectin f their vcabulary jurnals. Pst r prject the fllwing example f an independent clause. The fllwing example is taken frm sectin 3, paragraph 8 f the article The Flight f Apll 11 by Kenneth F. Weaver (refer t Lessns 4 5). The thrill f a race had added t the excitement. Ask a student vlunteer t identify the elements f the independent clause given abve. Student respnses shuld include: The subject is thrill. The predicate is had added t the excitement with had added as the verb f the sentence. 11

Differentiatin Cnsideratin: Students may need mre supprt in understanding the cmpnents f a cmplete sentence in rder t understand independent clauses. Cnsider reviewing and psting the definitins and examples f the parts f speech such as subject, predicate, and verb. Students write the definitins f subject, predicate, and verb in the apprpriate sectin f their vcabulary jurnals. Explain t students that semiclns are a type f punctuatin that can be used t cnnect tw independent clauses and shw they are related. Pst r prject the fllwing example fr students: Example 1 is mdified frm sectin 3, paragraph 12 f the article The Flight f Apll 11 by Kenneth F. Weaver. Example 2 is taken frm sectin 3, paragraph 12 f the article The Flight f Apll 11 (refer t Lessns 4 5). Example 1: Armstrng had n dubts, hwever, abut what t d. He had faced prblems like this many times befre in the simulatrs. Then, pst r prject the fllwing example f the tw sentences linked with a semicln: Example 2: Armstrng had n dubts, hwever, abut what t d; he had faced prblems like this many times befre in the simulatrs. Explain t students that it is pssible t keep tw distinct sentences instead f jining the independent clauses with a semicln, but when the ideas are clsely linked, cmbining the sentences can cntribute t the chesin and flw f the passage. Infrm students that semiclns are just ne way f cmbining sentences. Writers can use cmmas and cnjunctins r transitinal wrds r phrases t cmbine independent clauses (e.g., Armstrng had n dubts, hwever, abut what t d, because he had faced prblems like this many times befre in the simulatrs.). Students fllw alng. Lessn B and Lessn D prvide instructin n transitinal wrds and phrases and cmma usage, respectively. Pst r prject the fllwing paragraph and instruct students t wrk in pairs r small grups t practice cmbining sentences using semiclns, cnjunctins, r transitinal wrds r phrases. Encurage students t vary their methds f cmbining sentences. Explain t students that they may want t leave sme shrt sentences t vary the length f sentences thrughut the paragraph and t emphasize certain ideas with shrt sentences. The fllwing example is mdified frm paragraph 15 f the Mdel Narrative (refer t Lessn 10). We slwed dwn. We straightened ut just in time. We landed sftly. We weren t even sure we were n slid grund. I culdn t cmpletely relax. I didn t knw if the surface f the mn wuld 12

hld ur ship. Cming in, the dust frm the surface was blwing up in fine cluds. The dust lked like a kind f fg. It was hard t tell what was underneath. Once we gt the craft dwn, it stayed there. Nw I was ready t reprt. The Eagle has landed. Lead a brief whle-class discussin in which vlunteers share hw and why they cmbined sentences. Student respnses may include: We slwed dwn and straightened ut just in time. We landed s sftly that we weren t even sure we were n slid grund. I culdn t cmpletely relax, because I didn t knw if the surface f the mn wuld hld ur ship. Cming in, the dust frm the surface was blwing up in fine cluds that lked like a kind f fg; it was hard t tell what was underneath. But nce we gt the craft dwn, it stayed there. Nw I was ready t reprt: The Eagle has landed. Differentiatin Cnsideratin: Sme students may struggle t immediately grasp the prper use f semiclns. If students struggle, wrk with them individually t write ut 5 10 examples f the prper use f semiclns. Explain t students that a cln is anther type f punctuatin that is useful fr cmbining related independent clauses. Pst r prject the fllwing examples: The fllwing examples can als be fund n the Semicln and Cln Handut. Example 1: Once I jumped ff, I managed t speak the line I d rehearsed in my head all thse times: That s ne small step fr a man, ne giant leap fr mankind. Example 2: Fr the trip we needed different kinds f equipment: life supprt packs, helmets, and layers f special clthing under ur space suits. Example 3: We didn t have time t celebrate, because we had a missin t accmplish: we had t cllect and reprt n samples f the mn s surface. Instruct students t wrk in pairs r small grups t describe the three different uses fr clns. Student respnses shuld include: In example 1, the cln links tgether ne independent clause and a qutatin that is a cmplete sentence. This suggests that a cln can be used t intrduce a qutatin after an independent clause when the qutatin itself is als an independent clause. In example 2, the cln cmes after an independent clause and befre a list. This shws that a cln can be used t intrduce a list. 13

In example 3, the cln is between tw independent clauses. The secnd independent clause seems t explain the idea in the first clause that the astrnauts had a missin t accmplish. This suggests that a cln can be used t link tw independent clauses when the secnd clause prvides mre detail abut r emphasizes the first clause. Lead a brief whle-class discussin f student respnses. Distribute the Semicln and Cln Handut t each student. Encurage students t use this handut as a reference fr prper and cmmn uses f semiclns and clns. Students examine the handut. Differentiatin Cnsideratin: Sme students may struggle t immediately grasp the prper use f clns. If students struggle, wrk with them individually t write ut 5 10 examples f the prper use f clns. 14

Semicln and Cln Handut Remember that an independent clause is a clause that can stand alne as a sentence, cntaining a subject and a predicate with a finite verb. An independent clause cmmunicates a cmplete thught. Cmmn and Prper Uses f the Semicln: Use a semicln t cnnect tw independent clauses that are related t ne anther. Example: We were n the mn; there wasn t much time t celebrate. Cmmn and Prper Uses f the Cln: Use a cln when intrducing a qutatin after an independent clause. The qutatin must als be an independent clause. Example: Once I jumped ff, I managed t speak the line I d rehearsed in my head all thse times: That s ne small step fr a man, ne giant leap fr mankind. Use a cln when intrducing a list. Example: Fr the trip we needed different kinds f equipment: life supprt packs, helmets, and layers f special clthing under ur space suits. Use a cln between tw independent clauses when the secnd clause prvides mre detail abut r emphasizes the first clause. Example: We didn t have time t celebrate, because we had a missin t accmplish: we had t cllect and reprt n samples f the mn s surface. Further reference: The Purdue University Online Writing Lab (OWL): http://wl.english.purdue.edu (search terms: semiclns and clns). 15

Appendix 2: Splitting Sentences Explain that writers ften cmbine sentences t shw cnnectins between ideas and t make writing flw smthly; hwever, smetimes writers split lng sentences int shrter sentences in rder t vary sentence length r make details stand ut. Splitting lng sentences can als help writers change the pace f the narrative r create a smth prgressin f events. Pst r prject the fllwing paragraph and instruct students t wrk in pairs r small grups t practice splitting sentences by replacing cmmas and cnjunctins r transitinal wrds and phrases with perids. Explain t students that they may nt want t split all the sentences in rder t vary the length f sentences thrughut the paragraph. The fllwing example is mdified frm paragraph 2 f the Mdel Narrative (refer t lessn 10). She ran my card thrugh her machine and held it fr a mment, lking at it in her hand, which mved as if she were ging t return it t me. Instead she tk anther lk, squinting hard, and she peered at the card and back at me, as if she were trying t match a face t the name. Lead a brief whle-class discussin in which vlunteers share hw and why they split sentences. Student respnses may include: She ran my card thrugh her machine and held it fr a mment, lking at it in her hand. Her hand mved as if she were ging t return it t me. But instead she tk anther lk, squinting hard. She peered at the card and back at me, as if she were trying t match a face t the name. 16