30 July 2018 - Hash #2123 also known as The Big Dusty One of our Hashers is unsure how face-masks operate. Clue: she works for an ambulance company. Hare & Hash Beers (the most important job on the Hash): Ooz Ee (third from the left)
Comments about the run ranged from too dusty to too much dust to there was an excess of dust particles in the atmosphere. All in all, I think people were so preoccupied about the air that we forgot to score the run. If we did, you can be sure it would ve been out of dust particles. Virgin Runners: Now that Shag n Fly has finished work, she felt it safe to drag one of her former colleagues, Just Cassandra (or Cassie for short) to the Hash. Just Cassie hails from South Africa and is big on farming warthogs. Eager to fit in and make friends, she replied to Ooz Ee s remark - that AUH4 has been around since 1979 - by asking if he was one of the founding members. He responded by tipping half a bottle of water down his front. We like her already! A lot of chatterboxes in the circle tonight. Just Tony seems to be the only one paying attention. Leavers: Big Bang is heading to the States (F*ck Yeah!). Returners: None. The Hare, still chuckling about being an AUH4 founding father, enters the circle and proceeds to show all where baby RA s come from. With Big Bang now almost fully formed, the Hare shouts It s a Boy! to start the night s activities. The Spinster and Knob Jockey make it look easy (pre-short-cutting photo).
Knob Jockey looks at home amongst the earth movers while the sight of Teaboy, Holy Blow Job & Just Monty would likely terrorize any UAE tunnel users. Frankenfurter s B*tch, who went to medical school, wonders why his face-mask doesn t work. Just Tony, Suck My Hari Balls & Just Monty believe you should breathe dust just as Mother Nature intended. Religious Advice, provided by Big Bang in his usual jovial and slanderous manner, seemed to catch a lot of miserable sinners. In no particular order (because the Scribe didn t take any notes), the Hare was fined for not being able to control atmospheric dust levels or letting us into the air-conditioned bliss of his living room; Just Cassie was made to promise she d run with us again; Knob Jockey for paying to swim with a pack of sharks when he could ve had the same experience for free by going into Carrefour during the Eid sales; Tea Boy and What She Said for being lured over to Yas Island for a night out with Just Darren (of the Hood) only to be stood up and made to take another expensive taxi back to the main island consolation prize though as they got to have a beer with Suck My Hari Balls at Coopers.
The Spinster, Knob Jockey and Holy Blow Job were fined for short-cutting; Just Monty was done for training in between Hash runs; Ooz Ee and Just Cassie were down-downed for the founding father quip and Just Cassie came close to naming herself by saying Ooz Ee was starting to grow on her! Finally, Tea Boy was brought in and rubbed up by BB and FB for changing into clean, dry clothes. Punishment fits the crime, I say. Hash Social: The next major event is the over-night stay, Friday 3 August, in the Queen Elizabeth 2 retired ocean-liner and now floating hotel in Dubai. Please book through booking.com or Agoda. Also, moves are afoot to hire a bus, so if you are planning to go, please let Golden Showers know, so we can get accurate numbers. Celebrations: Frankenfurter s B*tch announced that he had accepted a new position in New Zealand. While that is certainly good news for him, Downward Dog, Karma and the kids, it will be a big loss to the rest of us left behind. Farewells are still a few months off but, in the meantime, we wish you guys all the very best and only ask that your beer fridge is big enough to cater for all your future hash visitors.
Finally, even though the dust to air ratio was awful tonight, the food was OUTSTANDING. Suck My Hari Balls said it was the most food he s ever eaten on a Hash night and the Scribe would have to agree: Next week s run: is on Reem Island (see link); Knob Jockey and The Spinster are haring. Next week's Run ON ON! What She Said PS: This was the official temperature in Ooz Ee s back yard tonight. PPS: One last pic for the road