DESIRE & D E L I G H T

DESIRE & D E L I G H T

P S A L M 3 7 : 4 D e l i g h t y o u r s e l f i n t h e L O R D ; A n d H e w i l l g i v e y o u t h e d e s i r e s o f y o u r h e a r t.

T H E D E S I R E S W H E E L M o s t b e h a v i o r i s m o t i v a t e d b y o u r d e e p, h u m a n d e s i r e s.

J A M E S 4 : 1-3 W h a t c a u s e s f i g h t s a n d q u a r r e l s a m o n g y o u? D o n t t h e y c o m e f r o m y o u r d e s i r e s t h a t b a t t l e w i t h i n y o u? Y o u d e s i r e b u t d o n o t h a v e, s o y o u k i l l. Y o u c o v e t b u t y o u c a n n o t g e t w h a t y o u w a n t, s o y o u q u a r r e l a n d f i g h t. Y o u d o n o t h a v e b e c a u s e y o u d o n o t a s k G o d. W h e n y o u a s k, y o u d o n o t r e c e i v e, b e c a u s e y o u a s k w i t h w r o n g m o t i v e s, t h a t y o u m a y s p e n d w h a t y o u g e t o n y o u r p l e a s u r e s.

Action: The Product of the heart H E A R T M O D E L Mind: Our thoughts, feelings, and decisions in the moment Identity: Beliefs, vows, wounds, memories. Who we have chosen to become Desire: Deep longings that drive actions. Example: Love, Significance, Belonging

D E S I R E I N J A M E S 4 01 What causes problems? Unmet desires 02 Desires are within us 03 Solution: Ask God to fill our desire within our relationship. 04 Asking wrongly is asking for a worldly object to fill our desire "God, if you give me a spouse my desire for love would be filled." "Just give me money in the bank, Lord, and I will feel secure." Summery 01 Action or behavior comes from desire 02 Desire is meant to be filled within our relationship wit God

H O W D O E S R E A L D E E P C H A N G E H A P P E N?

H O W D O M O S T P E O P L E W O R K A T C H A N G E? 01 Identify a behavior they don't like (Action) 02 Discipline the behavior with will (Mind) 03 If that doesn't work, they may get inner healing (Identity) 04 Rarely touch the level of Desire (What drives me to do this?) Summery We try to change from the outside in

J E S U S W A Y O F C H A N G E 01 Identify an action to change 02 Discover how the action is produced by desire and identity 03 Fill the underlying desire in relationship "You have not because you ask not" (James 4) 04 Create different experiences that change beliefs 05 Discipline actions when beliefs and desires are in alignment Summery 01 Biblical change happens form the inside out 02 Disciplne only works when it aligns with beliefs and desires When discipline wrestles desire, desire wins (Romans 7)

How do i feel?

Identify Describe E m o t i o n s a r e t h e m o s t d i r e c t p a t h t o d i s c o v e r i n g w h a t ' s i n t h e h e a r t. S i n c e e m o t i o n s h a p p e n b e f o r e t h e r a t i o n a l b r a i n k i c k s i n, t h e y b y p a s s o u r r a t i o n a l f i l t e r s a n d d e f e n s e s. Identify the Emotion What was going on inside you in that situation? M I N D Visualize yourself back in the moment. What are you feeling? Describe the emotion. Can you put a name to it?

I D E N T I T Y

B E L I E F S Formed by: Our interpretations of what an experience means. Protect us by: Giving us a rationale for behavior that protects or fills our own needs and desires. Telling us what to do. Example: If you grew up with a violent father, you may believe, "If I just do everything right no one will be mad at me." Change by: Encountering experiential truth (different experiences)

E M O T I O N A L M E M O R I E S Formed by: Traumatic experiences or unmet desire. Protect us by: Serving up the same feelings in similar situations. Those emotions spur us to react in protective ways. Example: If you grew up with a violent father, and a raised voice was the prelude to violence, your emotional memory will make you afraid every time you hear a voice raised. Change by: Meeting Jesus in the memory (inner healing)

E M O T I O N A L M E M O R Y Your emotional brain works by identifying a similar situation from your past and giving you the same feelings as in that experience.

I D E N T I F Y I N G E M O T I O N A L M E M O R I E S 0 1 P u t y o u r s e l f b a c k i n t o w h a t t r i g g e r e d y o u. V i s u a l i z e i t 0 2 L e t y o u r s e l f f e e l t h e e m o t i o n s o f t h a t s i t u a t i o n 0 3 L e t y o u r e m o t i o n a l b r a i n c o n n e c t y o u t o e m o t i o n a l m e m o r i e s 0 4 M e e t J e s u s i n t h a t f i r s t m e m o r y : " J e s u s, w h e r e w e r e y o u i n t h a t s i t u a t i o n? " " J e s u s, w h a t a r e y o u s a y i n g t o m e i n t h i s m e m o r y? " " J e s u s, w h a t d i f f e r e n t e x p e r i e n c e a r e y o u g i v i n g m e i n t h i s m e m o r y? "

T H E B E L I E F S W H E E L B e l i e f s a r e m y d e c i s i o n s a b o u t t h e m e a n i n g o f w h a t i ' v e e x p e r i e n c e d.

F O L L O W I N G E M O T I O N T O B E L I E F S Beliefs are the decisions about what our significant experiences mean. Often these decisions are made out of intense emotion, so we can ask the question, "Why?" about a strong feeling. Identifying Beliefs Start with a strong emotion or trigger. It can be either positive or negative emotion. 01 Identify the emotion you were feeling 02 How did you respond? 03 Drill down to belief by asking, "Why?" 04 Frame your insight in the form of a belief statement using one of the categories on the beliefs wheel.

T H E D E S I R E W H E E L M o s t b e h a v i o r i s m o t i v a t e d b y o u r d e e p, h u m a n d e s i r e s.

D R I L L I N G D O W N T O D E S I R E S t r o n g e m o t i o n s u s u a l l y s p r i n g f r o m s o m e t h i n g w e d e e p l y d e s i r e. 0 1 S t a r t w i t h a n E m o t i o n o r T r i g g e r A s i t u a t i o n t h a t c a u s e s s t r o n g e m o t i o n S o m e t h i n g y o u r e a c t t o ( i r r a t i o n a l l y ) S o m e t h i n g y o u a v o i d ; o r y o u s t r i v e u n h e a l t h i l y a f t e r ( r e s u l t o f t w i s t e d d e s i r e ) 0 2 I d e n t i f y t h e R e s p o n s e " W h a t d o / d i d y o u w a n t t o d o i n r e s p o n s e t o t h a t f e e l i n g? " 0 3 A s k t h e D e s i r e Q u e s t i o n s " W h a t d o e s t h a t g i v e y o u? " O R, " W h a t d o y o u f e a r i f y o u d i d n ' t d o t h a t? "

M O R E D E S I R E Q U E S T I O N S " W h a t d o y o u m o s t w a n t i n t h i s s i t u a t i o n? " " W h a t o u t c o m e a r e y o u a f t e r? W h a t w o u l d t h a t r e s u l t g i v e y o u " " W h a t i s d r i v i n g y o u? " " W h y i s t h a t i m p o r t a n t? " " W h i c h d e s i r e f r o m t h e d e s i r e w h e e l i s m o s t p o w e r f u l f o r y o u h e r e? "

T H E D E S I R E S W H E E L M o s t b e h a v i o r i s m o t i v a t e d b y o u r d e e p, h u m a n d e s i r e s.

" W H O E V E R B E L I E V E S I N M E, A S T H E S C R I P T U R E H A S S A I D, S T R E A M S O F L I V I N G W A T E R W I L L F L O W F R O M W I T H I N H I M " J O H N 7 : 3 8

P R A Y I N G Y O U R D E S I R E Asking Jesus to fill your desire in relationship with him. Key Principles 01 About the Relationship, not the Business Asking Jesus how he sees you or wants to touch you Instead of, "Jesus, what should I do?" ask, "Jesus, how do you love me?" 02 From Faith Assume God is already acting on your behalf Instead of, "Do you love me?" pray, "How do you love me?" 03 A Receiving Posture About Jesus touching us, not what I can do for him No performance required

P R A Y I N G Y O U R D E S I R E Asking Jesus to fill your desire in relationship with him. Key Principles 04 An Experiential Word (Rhema, not Logos) An emotional-brain experience of Jesus instead of rational knowledge about him. Not what God has said in the Bible, but what Jesus is saying to you right now 05 A Fresh Word What Jesus thinks about you in this moment A new revelation, not recounting an old one

D E S I R E P R A Y E R S " W h a t d o y o u l i k e a b o u t m e t o d a y? " " H e r e a r e s o m e t h i n g s I l o v e a b o u t y o u W h a t d o y o u l o v e a b o u t m e? " " W h a t h a v e y o u b e e n d o i n g t o p u r s u e m e i n t h e l a s t 2 4 h o u r s? " " H e r e i s h o w I s e e m y s e l f : H o w d o y o u s e e m e? " " H o w h a v e y o u b e e n m y s a f e t y a n d s e c u r i t y t h i s w e e k? " " W h a t ' s o n e w a y y o u ' v e b e e n s h o w i n g m e I b e l o n g t o y o u? " " I ' m a f r a i d t h i s w o n ' t g o w e l l. W h a t d o y o u w a n t t o s a y t o t h a t f e a r? " " H o w a r e y o u g i v i n g m e f r e e d o m t o d a y? "

R E S O U R C E S

DESIRE & D E L I G H T