The Countenance of Quaint By Allyssa Bujdoso Chaucer s Collective Works P.O. Box 2582 Chicago, IL 60690 859-468-9378
ACT I - SCENE I - MEGA BUS STOP Stage is set with stars and clouds hanging down, minimal background, black or navy backwall with three exit doors. LIGHTS UP on a voluptuous woman, WIFE OF BATH, STAGE RIGHT, she is looking upwards and is stressed as we hear the sound of thunder above, no rain yet. She has a small bag with her. I guess this must be the place. Mega bus stop indeed, good thing i brought my mace. Two women walk up and sit a little away from Alisoun, both carrying bags. Hypsipyle and Medea. Are you also going to Canterbury? I hear it will be a womens only pilgrimage this year. Apparently the men are already there. Yes we are, but we re looking for a man. Have you seen him? He goes by Jason, handsome, tall and trim. We just want to find him, and make him pay. We figured any place where women flocked to, Jason wouldn t be far away. Are you sure you don t know him? No. I ve been run out of town, to go in search of myself. There aren t many ways that I could be, so I choose a path that was right for me. Five men in all that I have married, and only for the pleasures that their wallets and loins carried. No, one named Jason though! Hypsipyle and Medea lean back, satisfied with Alisoun s answers.
CONTINUED: 2. You ladies seem upset, why not move on, seems kind of like your best bet... We have children to raise! The both of us so taken with his loins and praise. I just read about fatherless children in a study, they grow up and get into trouble, drugs, jail, or dead and bloody. It s Jason who s killing our children. That deadbeat dad villain. Maybe if he d stuck around, instead of running out of town, we wouldn t have to hunt him down. Ladies, it looks like it s going to rain, let me tell you my story, it won t be in vain. Maybe after you hear, of all the pleasures you can commandeer, you ll for get all about litigation with... Oh what s his name? Jason! Jason! Thunder and lightning picks up, and Alisoun stands up to sing to Hypsipyle and Medea. Humidity is rising - Barometer s getting low. According to all sources, Canterbury s the place to go! Cause tonight for the first time, just about half-past ten, for the first time in history, it s gonna start raining men! Five men come out on stage, three old, and two younger. Both Hypsipyle and Medea jump up to investigate and see if any of these men are Jason.
CONTINUED: 3. It s Raining Men! Hallelujah! - It s Raining Men! Amen! I m gonna go out to run and let myself get absolutely soaking wet! It s Raining Men! Hallelujah! It s Raining Men! Every Specimen! Tall, blonde, dark and lean rough and tough and strong and mean! (To Medea) Mean huh? Jason will definitely be there then... Hypsipyle and Medea join in and sing back up for Alisoun. More men come out to be arm candy for Hypsipyle and Medea, so that Alisoun s husbands stay with her. God bless Aphrodite, she s a single woman too. She took off to heaven and she did what she had to do. She taught every angel to rearrange the sky, so that each and every woman could find her perfect guy! It s Raining Men! Hallelujah! - It s Raining Men! Amen! It s Raining Men! Hallelujah! It s Raining Men! Ame---------nnnn! I feel stormy weather / Moving in about to begin. Hear the thunder / Don t you lose your head. Rip off the roof and stay in bed God bless Aphrodite, she s a single woman too! She took off to heaven and she did what she had to do. She taught every angel to rearrange the sky, so that each and every woman could find her perfect guy! It s Raining Men! Yeah! Humidity is rising - Barometer s getting low. According to all sources, Canterbury s the place to go! Cause tonight for the first time, just about half-past ten. For the first time in history. It s gonna start raining men. It s Raining Men! Hallelujah! - It s Raining Men! Amen! It s Raining Men! Hallelujah! - It s Raining Men!
CONTINUED: 4. As this song is concluding the bus pulls up on stage and of course we have a male conductor that all the women wink at and flirt with a little as they get on the Mega Bus. The front of the bus says Canturbury as a destination. BLACKOUT ACT I - SCENE II - ON THE BUS LIGHTS UP Hipysipyle and Medea are sitting together on the bus and quietly talking. Alisoun is sitting next to another girl, Griselda. (To Alisoun) Hi, I m Griselda. I m so excited for Canterbury! I just had to get away from home, my husband is so freaking scary! They call me the Wife of Bath, because they did the math. Apparently five husbands challenges the status quo. Rumors of my love for money spread and now everyone thinks I m a pro. So I needed a little trip, and this was cheaper than a cruise ship. I know what you mean, I used to be a queen, and then I got demoted, because my Walter is insane. He eventually took me back again. Women are treated terribly and never speaking of it has cause me to need therapy. Hypsipyle and Medea turn to talk with Alisoun and Griselda. (Crazily, to Griselda) Do you know Jason? Oh my humors! She doesn t know your Jason, you might want to check yourself, at the very least chasten! Griselda is nice and she has a crazy man in her life. His name is Walter.
CONTINUED: 5. Tell us about Walter. Any relation to White?? What? No, he s a King. A mad King. Oh, I saw that show! On HBO. No, it s not a show, on HBO. This is my real life, I don t even really want to be his wife! You can tell us, this is a healing time. Talking about this monster isn t a crime. That s where you re wrong, he took everything I had, and put me out for so long. I can t speak against him, or my children might suffer further on his whim. ACT I - SCENE III - LOVE S REST STOP