10/9/17. Leadership Keys For Successful Living. Background. October 19, 2017

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Leadership 2017-18 October 19, 2017 1 Keys For Successful Living Based on the book The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People by Stephen Covey 2 Background } Stephen Covey (October 24, 1932 July 16,

1 Leadership October 19, Keys For Successful Living Based on the book The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People by Stephen Covey 2 Background } Stephen Covey (October 24, 1932 July 16, 2012) was an educator, author, businessman, and keynote speaker. } First published in 1989, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People has sold more than 25 million copies in 40 languages. } In 2002, Forbes named The 7 Habits one of the top 10 most influential management books ever. } Chief Executive magazine recognized The 7 Habits as one of the two most influential books of the 20th century. } The 7 Habits audiobook is the best-selling nonfiction audio in history. 3 1

Secondly through his research Covey discovered that over the last 50-75 years our literature - particularly with respect to Success, Leadership,

2 Covey s Foundational Elements 1. Covey believes that a large factor in our struggle for Success is due to our Paradigms, the way we see and interpret things around us 2. Secondly through his research Covey discovered that over the last years our literature - particularly with respect to Success, Leadership, Management - has transitioned from a Character base to a Personality base 4 Our Paradigms The way we see the Problem often is the Problem! Our Attitudes and Behaviors flow out of how we look at things. 5 Paradigms All of us think we see the world as it is. The truth is we see the world as we are. 2

3 Definition of Paradigm } A Paradigm is: } A frame of reference, a model } A perception, assumption } The way we perceive, understand & accordingly interpret and judge things. A mental map. 7 Paradigms To better understand our Attitudes & Behaviors, we first have to keenly observe & explore our paradigms. Paradigms } The more we examine the way we see things, the more we can test them against reality. } Listen to others and be open to their perception, to get a far more objective view. 9 3

Covey s Research of Literature } In studying over 200 years' worth of literature on the concept of "success," Covey identified a very important change in the way that humans have defined Success over

4 Covey s Research of Literature } In studying over 200 years' worth of literature on the concept of "success," Covey identified a very important change in the way that humans have defined Success over time. } In earlier times, the foundation of Success rested upon Character Ethic (things like integrity, humility, fidelity, temperance, courage, justice, patience, industry, simplicity, modesty, and the Golden Rule). But starting around the 1920s, the way people viewed success shifted to what Covey calls Personality Ethic (where Success is a function of personality, public image, attitudes and behaviors). 10 Primary and Secondary Traits To change the situation first we Focus on attitude and behavior have to change ourselves and à minor change our perceptions à significant, quantum change Character and Personality 12 Character 4

5 Character & Personality What we are, communicates far more eloquently than anything we say or do. Although image, techniques and skills can influence your outward success, the weight of real effectiveness lies in good character. 13 Covey s Inside Out Approach } Centered on Principles and Character } Inside-Out means that the Change starts within oneself } Represents a paradigm shift away from the Personality Ethic and toward the Character Ethic 14 The Maturity Continuum Paradigm of We: we can do it; we can cooperate; we can combine our talents & abilities & create something greater together Paradigm of I: I can do it; I am responsible; I am selfreliant; I can choose Habits 4, 5, & 6 focuses on working with other people Habits 1, 2, & 3 focuses on ourselves and our behaviors Paradigm of You: you take care of me; you didn t come through for me; I blame you for the results 5

} Reactive people take a passive stance - they believe that the world is happening to them. They say things like: } There's nothing I can do.

6 Habit 1 - Be Proactive } Habit #1 is the } Habit #1 is the the other 6 Habits } The underlying principle of Habit #1 is - 16 Proactive vs. Reactive } Put simply Covey believes that in order to be Effective, one must be Proactive. } Reactive people take a passive stance - they believe that the world is happening to them. They say things like: } There's nothing I can do. } That's just the way I am. } Reactivity often becomes a self fulfilling prophecy and reactive people feel increasingly victimized and out of control. } Proactive people, however, recognize that they have responsibility or response-ability! 17 Responsibility Response-ability 6

7 Responsibility } Take Responsibility for: } Our Ways of Thinking } Our Ways of Looking at Things } Our Paradigms } Our Attitudes } Our Behaviors } Our Reactions to Things, People, & Situations 19 Language Reactive Language There's nothing I can do That s just the way I am He makes me so mad They won t allow that I have to do that I can t I must If only Proactive Language Let s look at our alternations I can choose a different approach I control my own feelings I can create an effective presentation I choose to I can I prefer I will Habit 2 - Begin with the End in Mind The Habit of } Mental Creation precedes Physical Creation } Start with a clear understanding of your destination } Include what kind of husband, wife, father, mother, son, daughter, friend, work associate you would like to be in your thinking? } Write your Mission Statement 21 7

8 Personal Mission Statement 22 Priorities } Family } Marriage } Children } Relationships } Spiritual Fulfillment } Career } Contribution } Financial Security } Music/Art } Athletics } Pets } Education } Physical Fitness } Nature } New Experiences } Wealth } Personal Renewal } Creativity } Friendships } Community } School } Fun/Enjoyment } Service } Social Clubs } Hobbies } Reading } Health } Beauty } Creating Memories } Sharing Wisdom 23 Principles } Responsibility } Commitment } Humility } Courage } Consideration } Compassion } Love } Service } Faith } Learning } Humor } Choice } Innovation } Flexibility } Diversity } Organization } Cooperation } Character } Competence } Honesty } Integrity } Renewal } Obedience } Respect } Trust } Empathy } Passion } Change } Gratitude } Hard Work } Challenge } Honor } Purpose } Mutual Benefit 24 8

9 Talents } Strategic Thinking } Athletics } Friendliness } Public Speaking } Teaching } Communication } Art/Music } Analysis } Organization } Enthusiasm } Positivity } Humor } Decision Making } Persistence } Creativity } Compassion } Writing } Reading } Mathematics } Selling } Reasoning } Vision } Building Relationships } Technical Ability } Mechanical Ability } Patience } Playfulness } Leadership 25 Responsibilities } Empower } Direct } Counsel } Make Money } Make A Difference } Contribute } Facilitate Change } Maximize Potential } Provide A Foundation } Lead } Model 26 } Teach } Assist/Help } Develop } Share } Provide Solutions } Provide Opportunities } Provide Support } Provide Financial Security } Serve } Have Fun/Enjoy Life } Learn } Grow } Love } Develop Relationships } Keep Us Profitable } Discover } Make Memories } Prepare } Provide Comfort } Improve Quality Of Life } Entertain } Improve Quality Habit 3 - Put First Things First The Habit of and } Things which matter most must never be a the mercy of things which matter least. } The Key is not to prioritize your schedule but to schedule your priorities. 27 9

10 Two Factors to Define Any Activity } Urgency - An activity is Urgent if you or others feel that it requires immediate attention. } Importance - An activity is Important if you personally find it valuable, and if it contributes to your mission, values, and high-priority goals. 28 Important Not Important I Crisis Pressing problems Deadline-driven projects, meetings, deliverables III Covey s Time Management Grid Urgent Not Urgent II Activities that have immediate and important deadlines. Interruptions, some calls Some mail, reports Some meetings Many proximate, pressing matters Activities that are not really important to you, but someone wants it now. Planning, Preparation Prevention Vision, Values clarification Relationship building Activities that are for long-term strategizing and development. IV Trivia, busywork Some phone calls Escape activities Excessive social media Activities that are often used for taking a break from time pressured and important activities. Habits 1, 2 & 3 The first three Habits help develop a deep base of Character and Personal Security. Once these 3 Habits become part of who you are you are then ready to begin building rich enduring highly productive relationships with other people and that s where Habits 4, 5 and 6 come in. 10

11 Habit 4 Think Win-Win Habit of } We have committed the Golden Rule to memory; let s now commit it to life - Stephen Covey } Win-Win Characteristics } Mutual Benefit } All parties feel good about the decision and feel committed to the action plan } Cooperation, not Competition } There s plenty for everybody } Belief in a third alternative 31 Character Traits Essential to Win-Win } Integrity: Making and Keeping meaningful promises and commitments. People of Integrity are true to their feelings, values and commitments. } Maturity: } The balance between Courage and Consideration } The ability to express one s won feelings and convictions balanced with consideration of the thoughts and feelings of others } Abundance Mentality 32 Abundance Mentality Scarcity Mentality There s only one pie Sense of worth and security comes from being compared Abundance Mentality There is plenty for everybody Define myself from within Deep inner sense of worth and security Someone else s success means my failure Someone else's success is our success sharing it. 11

12 A Four-Step Process to Win-Win 1 st See the problem from the other point of view 2 nd Identify the key issues and concerns 3 rd Determine what results would constitute a fully acceptable solutions 4 th Identify BATNA to achieve those results (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement) 34 Habit 5 Seek First To Understand Then To Be Understood Habit of You ve spent years of your life learning to read and write, years learning how to speak. But what about Listening? Habit 5 is probably the most difficult Habit to practice. 35 Principles of Empathic Communication } Seek First to Understand (Empathic Listening) } Requires high levels of consideration } It is diagnosing before prescribing } Get inside another persons frame of reference and see things the way s/he sees it } Requires more than practicing listening techniques } It s listening with intent to understand (changing our perceptions) } Then Seek to be Understood } Requires high level of Courage } Equally critical in reaching Win/Win solutions 36 12

13 Common Response Tendencies When we listen with our own perspective as our frame of reference we tend to respond in one of four ways: } Evaluate: agree or disagree with what is said } Probe: ask questions from our own frame of reference } Advise: give counsel based on our own experiences } Interpret: try to figure out the person's motives and behavior based on our own motives and behavior Conversely, when we're able to present our ideas clearly, and in the context of a deep understanding of the other person's needs and concerns, we significantly increase the credibility of our ideas 37 Habit 6 Synergize Habit of To synergize is to work together with other individuals, have an open mind and celebrate the differences. 38 Valuing the Differences } The essence of Synergy is Valuing Differences: } Does not imply that individuals approve of or agree with differences; } Does mean that people respect differences and view them as opportunities for learning; } Belief that differences enable you to discover and produce things together that you would much less likely discover and produce individually

14 Principles of Creative Collaboration Levels of Communication High Synergistic (Win/Win) Trust Respectful (Compromise) Defensive (Win/Lose or Lose/win) Low Low Cooperation High Blocks to Synergy Habit 7 Sharpen the Saw Habit of Renewal is the process that empowers us to move along an upward spiral of growth and change, of continuous improvement

Four Dimensions of Renewal PHYSICAL Exercise, Nutrition, Stress Management MENTAL Reading, Visualizing, Planning, Writing SOCIAL Service, Empathy, Synergy, Intrinsic Security SPIRITUAL Value

15 Four Dimensions of Renewal PHYSICAL Exercise, Nutrition, Stress Management MENTAL Reading, Visualizing, Planning, Writing SOCIAL Service, Empathy, Synergy, Intrinsic Security SPIRITUAL Value Clarification & Commitment, Study & Meditation Final Review Paradigm Shifts Habit 1 Habit 2 Habit 3 Habit 4 Habit 5 Habit 6 Habit 7 A BREAK FROM TRADITIONAL WISDOM We are a product of our environment and upbringing. Society is the source of our values. Reactive to the tyranny of the Urgent. Acted upon by the environment. Win-lose. One-sided benefit. Fight, flight, or compromise when faced with conflict. Differences are threats. Independence is the highest value. Unity means sameness. Entropy. Burnout on one track - typically work. TOWARD 7 HABITS PRINCIPLES We are a product of our choices from our environment and upbringing. Values are self-chosen and provide foundation for decision making. Values flow out of principles. Actions flow from that which is Important. Win-win. Mutual benefit. Communication solves problems. Differences are values and are opportunities for synergy. Continuous self-renewal and selfimprovement. 15

SPIRITUAL GIFTS. ( ) ( ) 1. Would you describe yourself as an effective public speaker?

SPIRITUAL GIFTS. ( ) ( ) 1. Would you describe yourself as an effective public speaker? SPIRITUAL GIFTS QUESTIONNAIRE: SPIRITUAL GIFTS ( ) ( ) 1. Would you describe yourself as an effective public speaker? ( ) ( ) 2. Do you find it easy and enjoyable to spend time in intense study and research